All tagged love
I noticed the silent distress in her dark brown eyes as soon as she walked into the room. She rushed by in a hurry to get to her destination, bright smile flashing. I followed her, gave her a minute, and as she spun around, I inquired, “Are you doing okay?”
"Well, here I go again," I thought to myself as I boarded a tiny eight passenger plane heading home. "I can do this. I'm going to be fine."
A little over a year ago, my marriage was attacked when we were least expecting it. Before I knew it, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of confusion. Every day was a gasp for air as I tried to sift through and separate the truth of God from the lies of the enemy. When we are weak and broken, it can be hard to decide what is true. It can feel impossible.
Sometimes I wonder if we have a need to be known, because we are made in the image of the Creator who wants to be known by us....And I think about all the people who are trying desperately to be KNOWN for something by someone.
I know I am not alone when I speak about hurt and pain. I know that everyone whom has lived on this earth for any length of time has had his/her fair share of suffering. There was a time in my life where the hurt seemed unbearable and permanent. I had been hurt to the core of my heart by someone I loved. Usually, those we love the most are the ones with the capability to hurt us the deepest.
Usually, those that hurt us are dealing with their own hurt and pain. The hurt they cause isn't always intentional. It's a sign that their heart could be broken or unwell.
All I knew to do was pray and read God's word. In the midst of my struggle, I was not immune to Satan's lies. I began to really process a lot of life's events and noticed a pattern of being hurt by those I loved the most. Loving people has always been easy for me, as well as loving deeply and with my whole heart.
In a fleeting moment, Satan tried to tell me one of the biggest lies he has ever thrown at me, "You were created to be hurt." What the what?
My Dad is the only person I have ever watched die. Such a painful and fresh wound on my heart. I remember one of his final nights of full awareness. The room was dark and quiet. My Momma, brother and I gathered around his bed as he called us in closer. My Dad is the only person I have ever watched die. Such a painful and fresh wound on my heart. I remember one of his final nights of full awareness. The room was dark and quiet. My Momma, brother and I gathered around his bed as he called us in closer.
I walked along the edges of the beach just enough for the water to tickle my toes when I spotted her. I was watching my own children splash in the waves. My eyes darted back to her as she elegantly walked into the water, not seeming to have a care in the world, blond curls blowing in the wind.
One of the first meaningful things I learned about my husband when I met him was that he had struggled with a severe anger problem earlier in his life. He told me stories of how angry he would get, sometimes knocking holes in walls.
