Out of the Mouth comes the Heart

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
Proverbs 18:21

I haven't been able to stop thinking about a situation I witnessed in a parking lot. I was loading things into my car and heard a woman yelling. At first, I thought she was yelling at someone in another car. And maybe she was, but then, she was DEFINITELY screaming, in the parking lot, at her teenage daughter. I assumed it was her daughter. 

As I pushed my cart to the return, I could tell by her body language that she was not just angry, she was in a rage. Even when her mouth wasn't screaming, all of her non-verbal cues were letting everyone know she was beyond upset. 

The part that hurt my heart was when her daughter wasn't doing something right--maybe something to do with cranking the car, and this lady, who I assumed was her mother or a mother figure, yelled, "You're doing it wrong. You're a FREAKING IDIOT." She then started screaming over and over for the girl to get out of the car. 

I don't know the back story. I don't know what the teenager had done, and I don't have to know. But name calling is crossing the line no matter how bad of a day the mother had experienced. I know parents get angry--I've been there. I know thoughts run through your head, but choosing to say them is where you can win or lose your child.  It's one thing to correct a child in love, and another to call your child or anyone, for that matter, a derogatory name.

I drove away praying for all parties involved as I reflected on the potential damage. 

Freaking Idiot.....those two words have the potential to play over and over in that young lady's head for a very long time. 

When she makes a mistake in a relationship, "Freaking Idiot" may be what she hears. 

When she makes a bad grade on a test, "Freaking Idiot." 

When she messes up at work, "Freaking Idiot." 

When she drops a glass on the kitchen floor and breaks it....FREAKING IDIOT. 

Her self-esteem and confidence lowered by two words. 

Obviously, this is one situation I have elaborated on to drive my point home, but it's reality. And some children hear much worse than, "Freaking Idiot." 

Words hurt. Especially words that come from a parent or adult directed toward a developing child or teen. I remember negative words and lies spoken to me by adults from years and years ago. Sometimes they play over and over in my head. Often, it's hard to break free of the lies that have been spoken over us. It can feel impossible. 

It's a daily surrender, taking every thought captive, and submitting them to the Lord. 

Maybe someone told you were "fat," "ugly," "stupid," or "no good."  

Sometimes someone calls something belonging to you or is a part of you is stupid and that translates in your mind as "you're stupid." 

Sometimes we become what has been spoken over us, even if we are the person speaking it over ourselves. The Bible tells us, in approximately one-hundred verses, about the power of the spoken word, the world confirms it as "self-fulfilling prophecies." 

I'm sure you can think of something, right now, someone told you that still haunts you when the days are dark, and sometimes comes out of nowhere. We hear the silent whispers of the past, and it still hurts and affects us unless we have experienced the healing touch of our Creator. 

And He is more than able to take away the pain associated with words spoken to you and over you. He can redeem any situation, and He is always willing to do so. 

In Proverbs, the Bible tells us the tongue holds the power of life and death. I believe in that verse with my whole heart.  We have the power to build up and tear down, the ability to speak life and healing or disease and death. 

Ephesians 4:12 tells us, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."  

Nothing I'm sharing today is new....but a reminder to us all on how to speak to our kids and to other people, in general. And how to speak to OURSELVES. What we say matters. It always matters. I also want to place a promise in your soul, God wants to heal any hurt your heart may feel. He wants to debunk the lies and tell you who you really are...I promise that what He calls you is better than you ever dreamed. Will you let Him? 

Father, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. Help me to speak edifying words to those I encounter so I may build them up for Your glory. Convict my heart when I plant a seed of negativity in the hearts of my children or those I encounter so that I may apologize and bring healing in Your name. Father, pluck the lies from my heart and replace it with Your healing truth.