Shaming others is not healthy on any level. I don't care who you are or what you believe. Shaming is an attempt at control to get one's way. It is usually used by people to boost their own ego and self-esteem. Somehow, they feel smarter and better by making you feel or look smaller and dumber for not seeing their higher ways.
Shaming is the easy way out. It is an adult's way of avoiding responsibility of having an adult conversation leading to a greater understanding. Shamers’ greatest tactics are sarcasm, belittlement and appearing to hold knowledge the rest of us don't seem to have. It is rooted in self-righteousness and judgement. Example, "Wow, how can you be so stupid?" or "Don't you see if you don't do xyz, you are an idiot?"
News flash. If you are on the receiving end, you don't have to welcome it in. Be a gatekeeper of your own heart and mind. Don't play into the reality of the one trying to dish out the shame attacks. The way they believe and behave is not your problem. How you decide to respond is. How you decide to feel is your decision.
AND.....
While we are on feelings, emotions lie. "Feeling" dumb doesn't make it true. Someone else calling you dumb doesn't make it so.
We are sometimes our greatest shamers. We do it to ourselves and call ourselves "dumb," "unlovable," and lots of other derogatory words.
Side Note: Guilt and shame are not the same. Guilt is when you feel bad for making a decision you feel is now a mistake. Shame is believing you are bad, broken, or dumb due to the decision you made. Guilt motivates constructive change. Shame motivates destructive thoughts about one's self.
Taking responsibility for our actions and decisions cause us to grow. Shame does nothing but cause us to build a wall, shrink and kowtow to those trying to control the scene.
Recognizing what shame is can be half the battle. Don't allow it to win.
"I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me." – Psalm 25:2
Peace and love.
